Fly away from here

2008-11-20T07:51:00.001-08:00

AHHAHAHA! HELLO EVERYONE! i'm a cow! no! i'm a cheekan!
I'm ah jo! ah jo sua seet! seat! stand! seat! stand! seat!

I LOVE YOU ALL!

*MUACKIES!*
Euu alls so cuttiex!

2005-12-08T00:54:00.000-08:00

2005-03-04T23:46:00.000-08:00

hmm sometimes i just feel so pissed off and tired, like nothing's going my way, ya and i'm feeling this way right now. well but thats not the point, the point is that i get tired of posting on blogspot which is like totally public and then nosey people read my posts and interfere in my affairs, plus i'm getting very dejected and so i've decided to abandon my blog. thx for being ard for so long. bye-

2005-02-25T23:48:00.000-08:00

i'm getting to like fridays more and more. why cause on fridays u get to pamper urself after one whole week of crap, prolly eat sth nice for lunch and dinner. then get to slack for the whole night. then u have the weekends coming up. ya so fridays really serve as a remedy to my weekly dosage of crap... oh anyway today was quite eventful, went with seet to j8 and then there was this shop around the corner selling christian shirts. and the person was real friendly yet at the same time not a nuisance, so in the end i was remarking how it made me feel inclined to buy sth from her, and seet eventually borrowed every single cent from me to buy a shirt. haha ok anyway my point is that sometimes life seems so sucky but then some seemingly trival things or act by others just seem to remind u that there's still sth nice about life. haha its like... walking along the seashore then u find this exquisite piece of seashell....

2005-02-22T23:14:00.000-08:00

hmm i havent blogged for close to 2 weeks. but these 2 weeks has been quite a rush, just so many things to attend to and i'm always feeling so tired. Hai my avg sleeping time is like what ulu 2am. plus lately i think i'm going through the nadir of my life, though i'm glad i made some friends whom i'm getting along very fine with. see and i sorta realise my post is totally without any sequence, its just jumping all over the place. i think maybe math made me sick, i'm suffering a serious case of marginal disutility from doing all my math. then there's what dramafest on thurs, seriously wasting my time man, and the worst thing is i dont even know why i bought the ticket argh. joshua was like ay lets go tgt, then i think i made my decision in less than 30 sec, and i'm starting to regret it now ahhh. i think i need a break leh, like a long break, prolly after common test.

-Dreaming allows each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives.

2005-02-10T23:41:00.000-08:00

Haha CNY is madness one la. Movie marathon was like what... 6 shows through the night??? then in the end slept at like 8 am on first day of new yr and when i woke up it was dinner how crap haha. so all the bai nian left till today. n act the best thing to do is to camp at grandma's house and wait for all the relatives to come, lol all free frags. My fund raising was like going on very smoothly, but then i lost like 10 bucks on Blackjack arrrrggghhh. stupid game where u can only count on luck... i just realised i've spent like 50 bucks on my dota sessions, really really sucking me dry. hhaa i must stop this stupid dota thing, its really like throwing money away la.
i've been eating non-stop man, when u get bored u just eat and eat and eat, plus there's lots of food so u eat even more. but still i like CNY haah, i dunno it just makes people happy and no one seems to be sad during this period of time. its just like goodwill everywhere.

2005-02-05T23:06:00.000-08:00

i think i finally understand the old adage " beauty is in the eye of the beholder ". well i think its quite true that if u feel that a person is very nice then over time u'll feel that he or she gets prettier or more attractive. hmm i dont really understand how it works though but then again its quite logical if you think abt it. sometimes dont u just find that man is very stubborn, always trying to deceive himself n refusing to accept reality, n the fact is that he knows he's deceiving himself. how ironic. so maybe he'll try to drown himself in his work so he wont have to think so hard...

2005-01-28T23:45:00.000-08:00

Somehow i feel that happiness doesnt come as easily as it used to. like playing games and hanging out seem to have lost their appeal to me, and sometimes i really wonder what makes me happy? well actually i know what will make me happy, but then again there's nothing i can do to make things go my way. haha but if u live a long time without feeling happy maybe u'd forget why u yearned for it in the first place then u wont feel sad either. actually i have no idea what i'm talking abt, i'm just feeling down and off today.

2005-01-26T23:13:00.000-08:00

i realise that lit is a lame subject. why on earth do they have to come up with so many commentaries on a simple poem? its like, they're crapping some analysis out which may not even be a true reflection of the poem... its kind of like, maybe the poet wrote the poem simply because he's sad, but then the experts come up with a whole list of explanations on what the poem is about, that there is some hidden meaning and all those...
Argh robert frost is crap seriously, either that or the analysts are crap.

2005-01-20T23:21:00.000-08:00

haha today was damn funny. went with sis to buy some junk food from ntuc, then we were on the bus home when this mother came up with 2 kids ard 5 yr old, and they like sat at the 3 seats perpendicular to ours. so i was eating the chocolate and then the little girl was like watching me with her watchful eyes. haha then i think her mom kinda like want to console her so she gave her this sausage bun. then the little girl starting eating but then she was like eating the bread and saving the sausage for the last... so i was feeling evil then i whispered to my sis: if the sausage drops it'll be damn funny. like 10 sec later that fateful piece of sausage dropped when the bus jerked then i was like trying to suppress my laughter cause it was damn funny. the little girl stoned for i think 10 sec, then she started crying, then continued eating her bread, hahaa freakingly hilarious, then her mom like din know y she was crying. haha then i was like trying to pull my shirt over my mouth and laugh haha.

2005-01-16T23:35:00.000-08:00

actually willpower is very incredible in the sense that it can really affect u both physically n mentally. as in, if u're convinced that u're unhappy, u prolly would mellow in self pity and then u'd feel very sad, or to give a simpler example, if u feel that u're tired, then u'd fall asleep. ya i kinda realise that because i tried to convince myself that there's nothing much in life to be unhappy about and i'm feeling much happier now.
ya n there are a lot of sad people ard me also, so i think i'm like trying to tell u all not to worry abt things that u cant control, and u guys should just be happy. haha ok i'm not really good with words but i hope u guys just cheer up ya.

2005-01-13T23:28:00.000-08:00

lol i'll be more cheerful from today onwards.
cause it suddenly dawned upon me that i am just a tiny tiny part of the vast world out there. there are like so many issues that are greater than my individual problems, like people are worrying abt life and death then here i am, so concerned abt seemingly trival issues and mellowing in self pity. plus life seems to go by quickly n i dont want to look back and regret in the future.
o well things are starting to look up for me, u know sometimes like when things are already so bad they can only get better?
ya plus i'm really grateful to those who like stood by me and listened to all my sorrows....
ya i guess thats what life is about.

2005-01-06T22:44:00.000-08:00

lol this is crappy. came home from school and i was how burnt out, so i decided to take one of those longggg afternoon naps.
so i slept for like 3 hours, then when i woke up, my sis was like: half a bowl of my chicken soup mysteriously disappeared... i was like huhhhh?
then later when i went to bath i took off my shirt and i realised like there was this big blob of yellowish thing on my shirt, didnt take me long to realise it was the remnants of the chicken soup i apparently ate during my sleep.
lol this is mad, i get so tired until i dont even remember waking up to drink the soup then going back to sleep again. o well, lots of work to be done, so i'll get back to work.

2005-01-05T23:13:00.000-08:00

why is there black and white, why is there good and evil?
i realise i'm more inclined towards the dark side, sometimes i feel that, since everyone wants to be the good guy, and someone has to be the bad guy, why not let me be the bad guy?
it seems like everyone so badly wants to be mr nice guy, and then there's all this pretence and deceit going on... i dunno, sometimes it seems that being the bad guy and not having to follow any rules appeals to me more.
i wish i lived in medieval times, then i would be roam the world with my sword, somehow i find that many things have lost their value to me, and that what i used to consider important arent really that important anymore... i want to go to many places and experience life, maybe its because i'm tired of all the studying, training, and pretences...
whats all those abt the bad guys end up getting retribution? i dont believe in them anymore. the bad guys dont get punished, sometimes justice just doesnt exist. sometimes it doesnt mean that being the good guy would bring you a good ending...

2004-12-30T23:09:00.000-08:00

dear diary,

i think this would be my last entry for 2004 so this shall be a long entry. what a year... i have to say this year would probably the one of the most memorable in my life, for the wrong reasons that is, its been an uneventful and tiring yr. firstly, nothing has gone my way, with regards to results, volleyball, and you-know-what. i have to say i'm really sad and tired. i've been living in this whimsical world for too long n i decided that i must move on, n the new year seems sth for me to look forward to. as with results and training, i'm going to do all i can for once. i must work hard just this once... n i'll reward myself aft tt.
secondly, a lot of events have happened at home this yr. somehow i feel that we're not as close as before. i dont know when it started, but we've stopped saying good nights and good mornings. all these seemingly trivial issue, yet they are testimonial to a great truth. but i love my family, all these has made me cherish my family even more, i feel that i owe them something, that is why next year i'm gonna work hard to repay their faith.
the thing is that i feel i've grown as a person, prolly this is the time when they say boys grow into men. feel that i've really matured this yr. seen many more things in life n my heart is getting more control over me, i think abt things a lot now. i dont know if this is good or bad. i get depressed nowadays because i keep seeing the ugliness of life, yet there seems nowhere i can seek solace, yet i have to put on a facade, like everything is going on fine, yet who will understand the way i feel?
ya n so i finally made the decision, i know it will have to come sooner or later, n i will have to face up to reality, i dont want to deceive myself anymore, i dont want to live on like this. i rather suffer now then suffer more later. sooner or later time will heal my wounds, n for now i can only seek ur company.
i finally realise how impt it is to cherish the things ard u, sometimes u have to lose it before u learn the lesson, i'm glad i didnt... at least thats one good thing.
hmm actually nothing good happened this yr, well ok i've made quite a few very good friends, ya thankful for tt.
well i keep feeling like i'm missing out sth, but owell...
for once, i wont make a new yr resolution, or wish, because this yr none of my wishes came true. fairy tales and angels have somehow lost their significance to me.
i only have one wish i'd really wish for to come true, n if it does come true i'll.... if it does....
ya so its a fresh start, but i wont start with high hopes and everything, cause the higher u go the harder u fall... prolly life should just be kinder to me for the nxt year?
cheers.

2004-12-26T00:36:00.000-08:00

i am confused. the idea of time travel is kinda contradictory if u think abt it. well supposedly time travel is used in such a way that people could go back in time to change the course of history, yet think abt it, in doing so, their actions are but part of a history that is supposed to happen. its like, history has it that a man would go back in time to save someone, yet to the man, at the point of time where he goes back in time, he wouldnt think that all these were part of history and were supposed to happen, he would think that he was going back in time to change the course of history, while in fact History will be there with a smirk on its face because that was exactly the script that he had written for the man to follow, and the man foolishly thinking he had outwitted history and time, will once again be the pawn of greater beings...

2004-12-23T00:22:00.000-08:00

Love me at last,
or if you will not,
Leave me;
Hard words could never,
as these half-words,
Grieve me;
Love me at last, or leave me.

Love me at last,
or let the last word uttered
Be but your own;
Love me, or leave me,
as a cloud, a vapor,
Or a bird flown.
Love me at last,
I am but sliding water
Over a stone.

2004-12-22T00:26:00.000-08:00

i wonder if u ever felt tired before, u know, its like mentally and physically tired... then u dont feel like doing anything but just sit and stone.
sometimes when nothing just seems to go right, then u're so helpless and u can only suffer in silence, unsure of where to seek help, and who to speak to.
ya i'm feeling that way now, another bad news apparently, really down and out now.
pple say then when u get drunk, you'll forget all your sorrows, and for that short period of time, u're free. its like, heaven before hell.
i havent got any idea because i havent been drunk before...
i want to sleep but i cant, everytime i close my eyes all my thoughts run wild.
how i wish when i wake up tmr i'd realise this is just a dream and things will return to the way they are...

2004-12-20T01:18:00.000-08:00

it gets kinda depressing sometimes. today the world came crashing down on me.
big quarrel at home... involving everyone.
i feel depressed when it seems like i do not have the power to fight back, to fight for my point...
or should i say, actually i'm filled with anger when i was quarrelling and ranting, but then later when the anger goes, then the depression and guilt sets in.
its like, seeing how powerless i am at against my unreasonable mom, n how fragile the family seems to be, then u cant help questioning why things are the way there are, n you just break down in the silence of the night. somehow it just shows u the fratility of man, how small, insignificant a role they play n u question the purpose of their existence. why do wishes never come true? y cant i just live a beautiful dream, even if its one that will soon be lost in memories.
n so i listened to "better man" once again, n this time i jus couldnt hold back the tears.
this is one of those times when everything just doesnt go the way i want, n everything that could possibly go wrong has gone wrong.
i feel very helpless, like i'm all alone, its like drifting in the ocean with a life buoy, n u ponder what does heaven mean by keeping u in a situation like this, where u are helpless to your cause. n then u see a ship sailing towards u, yet somehow it just steers away, maybe its a mirage... or maybe it was just in the hands of fate.

I still shall smile and go my careless way,
Dawn shall not see my tears,
nor shall night hear
Through broken murmurings thy name sound clear,
Nor catch old dreams of love that drift and sway
The wistful ghosts of a forgotten day.
Nor shall the lilt of Spring, nor Autumns sere
Awake my heart to pain, to pulsing fear,
Nor lure me from my days serene and grey

2004-12-18T00:00:00.000-08:00

watched kung fu soccer today, then i noticed one of the theme songs.
its called bu shi ni de cuo.
ya i listened for the lyrics, its as though the song's written just for me, kinda expresses everything i feel right now.
so much to say, jing zai bu yan zong.
sigh i cant find a copy of that song anywhere on the net, but owell i hope that song wont apply to me anymore, yes let the star of luck shine on me...

I don't go by the rule book, I lead from the heart, not the head....

2004-12-14T00:23:00.000-08:00

lots of things i want to say.
but i cant blog abt them.
sigh wrote a long entry in my diary.
it doesnt seem to help.
i tore out that entry.
its in the bacardi breezer bottle.
i'm gonna get a cork, then one day i'm going to drop it in the sea.
maybe all my whisperings would go away with that bottle.
dont know what to blog abt.
kinda dazed.

Listen to the music of your own heart and trust the passion that flows within every note.

2004-12-13T00:53:00.000-08:00

sigh i cant help feeling this air of uncertainty.
i'm unable to explain why but lately i just keep thinking abt the things in my life, the people ard me. there's this weird, nostalgic emotion within me, have this premonition that something bad is gonna happen to me.
so there's this sense of apprenhension, uncertainty.
sigh then i just heard "if tomorrow never comes" on radio, which set me thinking abt the stuff i would do if tomorrow never comes.
wrote down a list of the things i really want to do in my life, ya n if i have the chance i will try to accomplish all of them.
sigh i dont like this at all, all too weird. that eerie emptiness in me.
oh ya i remember the article by sumiko tan in life, kinda true the things she said. that sometimes life goes by so quickly, n if u dont stop to take a look, it might all be over in a flash.

my wish is written in the stars lol.

2004-12-10T01:52:00.000-08:00

lol there are lots of stuff i want to write on my blog, stuff that are so private. Yes and i cant resist the urge to blog so after spending some time i came up with a code lol... quite proud of it but if anyone breaks it then i'll be in real trouble.
Ya folks if u guys are real bored maybe its worth a try.

437-6263-47
8 5 18 14 1 13 5 9 19
seek the first and last of source

2004-12-09T09:24:00.000-08:00

Yawwnn just woke up from this really nice dream, ya and i noted down all the details of it the moment i was conscious enough to do so cause this is probably one of the best dreams i've ever had and i dont want to forget abt it.
Hmm i shall not talk abt what i dreamnt abt cause it is too beautiful to be put into words.
Sometimes i wish that dream and reality could be reversed, or that we had the power to dream whatever we want.
If whenever i close my eyes i enter a reality where my dreams come true, i'd sleep forever, i'd create a world of my own, lead a simple life away from the crowd, and.....
I once read that we dream everyday, its just a matter of whether we remember it when we wake up. is it true? i have no idea. but i realise dreaming is a... hmm i cant find the words to describe that feeling.
Hmm lots of thoughts going through my mind right now, ya cant seem to make any sense of recent events that have happened in reality, i'd rather i could dream every night and i'd dream the perfect reality for myself to live in.
Lol can u imagine how a simple emotion can affect someone?
ya u'll never know but it doesnt matter...

2004-12-07T22:28:00.000-08:00

I don't know, but I believe
That some things are meant to be
And that you'll make a better me
Everyday I love you
I never thought that dreams came true
But you showed me that they do
You know that I learn somethng new
Everyday I love you
'Cos I believe that destiny Is out of our control (don't you know that I do)
And you'll never live until you love
With all your heart and soul.
It's a touch when I feel bad
It's a smile when I get mad
All the little things I am
Everyday I love you
Everyday I love you boy
Everyday I love you
'Cos I believe that destiny Is out of our control (don't you know that I do)
And you'll never live until you love
With all your heart and soul
If I asked would you say yes?
Together we're the very best
I know that I am truly blessed
Everyday I love you
And I'll give you my best
Everyday I love you

2004-12-05T13:29:00.000-08:00

man are stubborn creatures, many a time the reality is right in their faces yet they refuse to accept it and choose to cherish whats left of that little bit of hope and wish for a miracle to happen.
Some say that this stubborness is what we call determination, i choose to say its the frailly of mankind.
cant really understand this human emotion, maybe in some ways machines are much better than man in the sense that they dont have any emotions to cope with.

2004-12-05T02:21:00.000-08:00

sigh i'm in a daze i cant think properly.
i've fallen for u but whats the use when i know u'll remain nothing but a friend.
why do i keep holding on to whats left of that little bit of hope, refusing to let go.
i cant answer those questions i cant force myself to forget...
feeling very depressed, what can i do when the only person who can cure me of my sadness is the one who made me sad.
if there's anything in the world i could do to get ur love i'd do it cause sometimes i just feel so helpless thinking abt u.

2004-12-02T00:29:00.000-08:00

Feeling a emptiness in me, its a weird emotion that i dunno how to describe.
Hmm its like, after a party, and everyone starts to leave, then u get those bittersweet memories, like everything's back to normal again and its so routine.
Life is... mundane, its mechanical.
Kinda sick of this life. There's nothing that i really really feel passionate abt doing now. Everyday is just a same old day without any new challenges.
i guess i havent found the purpose of my life yet, thats why i dont feel passionate abt it and the world seems a gloomy place.
If i could describe my life i'd liken it to a car without the key. Something, i dont exactly know what, is missing.
ARgh i need something new in my life, i need to move on... trod on...

2004-11-24T00:31:00.000-08:00

It was this posh hotel, everyone was in tux n gown, and so its like this real spectacular bash...
Ya then they were just smiling away, drinking, toasting. Funny how no one was talking, and everything was spinning around.
K so the thing is i wasnt totally asleep, n i knew cause i could see the things in my room, so it was like, flashes of hallucination and reality. Then things just became blurry, sorta couldnt wake up from my sleep. Like the party's not over and everyone was still toasting.
Hmm then i started calling out for my mom in silence. Dunno why prolly cause i was totally helpless both mentally and physically at tt time. Ya but somehow i woke up finally, n tt made me realise like i've not been treating her well and tt i should cherish my family, ah, felt so comforted when like my mom went downstairs to get orange juice for me, ya then it like totally calmed my nerves.
Last week i had this premonition that sth bad would happen to me... Well i guessed it did, second time in my life i was really really afraid. Dunno why this happened but ya, i'll cherish whatever i have.
Life is but a journey with a destination...

2004-11-23T22:06:00.000-08:00

Urgh...
What an uneventful day.
Ya felt groggy in the morning, but decided to go for training anyway. Then during training it got worse and i concluded i was getting a fever. k so i left halfway through training, *ya and i'm so gonna miss the kbox guys*. Then i was waiting for a cab outside sch, and for like 20 min not a single cab came by urgh. N the heavens opened and i was stuck in the stupid heavy rain and of all places i chose to run into the rubbish dump to hide coz it was the nearest place that offered shelter... Yes stinks so i decided to run to the bus stop, n still no cab came by so i had to take a bus n feel so shittified for the next 1 hr before i got home.
K when i took my temperature... 39.5 Degrees.
Urgh havent been sick for a long long time, at least not to this extent. Felt really really horrible, the pain was excruciating and i couldnt muster any strength in my body to fight it. So i just lay in bed hoping the pain would go. Then i started hallucinating n i knew i was hallucinating cause i wasnt totally asleep at that time n i could make out some things in my room. Ya then sth happened that made me stop and think abt my life and my family.
K i'm tired and sick now so i shall blog abt that some other time... NIghTS

2004-11-19T00:00:00.000-08:00

Oh the Vball chalet was damn off haha.
Yes yes off like mad...
haha k first the eugene prank, feel sorry for him, yea like to bring him right up to heaven then throw him right down, owell.
Argh then came the dunking and bonding which were seriously very very off haha, the tricks they used were damn lame cant believe i fell for it. Oh n being dunked twice is very off too.
The most off part was the truth-or-dare.
What the hell my luck was unbelievably good until they collaborated to get me.
OK then there were 2 pathetic qn, haha ya and i'm so gonna get myself into trouble with the answers i gave.
Ah i'm tired now...
Chalet, metro cip, argh, slept only 8 hrs in the past 3 days.
To you-know-who, cheers.

2004-11-16T22:02:00.000-08:00

Well i feel a bit comforted today.
K so it was metro cip, the one everybody said was crappy and stuff. Yes i guess it was quite inefficient persuading the few pple who walked by to donate, plus a lot of pple were like walking past with their heads bowed, praying we wouldnt catch them.
Yes i was disheartened, quite sad that there were so little pple who were willing to donate...
Well but there were some very nice pple, who donated and even refused to take the freebies hmm metro was like playing lots of christmas carols then seeing the compassion of these few pple i kinda felt at least i did something good.
Even if its that bit of good.
Ya i think i chalked up the most of today. Haha shermaine and terence concluded it was the chinese high look. Quoting from them, the "please donate money to me look".
Yes then i was thinking of how much i roped in, n i suddenly felt that the organisers should use the money to buy lollipops for the children in india. Yes i counted. 200 lollipops.
Haha well, if u feed them rice for one day, they'll still be hungry the very next. So unless u give them food everyday, they'll eventually die. Seeing that is difficult to achieve, isnt it better to give them a hope to cherish, such that even if they were to die, there's a nice memory for them to look back at? It will be the first gift in their lives, well, even if they ate up the sweet they'd prolly keep the wrapper and cherish it. That feeling is something special.
Yes they should receive a gift from santa.
I want to buy lots of lollipops, go to a village in india, dress up as santa and give them sth special for christmas. I'll look forward to that day.

2004-11-10T23:25:00.000-08:00

Well, actually love is like a game of poker.
If ur hand is poor, n choose not to follow from the very start, u'd lose nothing.
Maybe u decide to take the game a bit further, k so u follow, and if the banker has an awesome hand, being smart u can quit and lose one chip.
But if u insist on going on hoping that a miracle would happen, it could soon be game over n u wouldnt even have money for a bus ride home.
Ah but if its ur lucky day then very soon u'd have quite a number of chips.
And if u go for show hand, u stand to lose a lot now though if u win u strike the jackpot and its happily ever after.
So maybe u're the cautious kind, u put in half ur chips, and if u lose, u still have money to take a cab, drop somewhere for supper, then go home.
But But But, the essence of playing poker, is that right from the very start, if ur hand is not good, u must be brave enough to not play on, it may be brave to play on and hope for a miracle, but it takes even more strength to lose what u've placed on the table, suffer that moment of anguish, yes its that moment, or maybe a long period of time, instead of going on to lose more than what u would initially lose. At least u stand to lose a lot less.
I so believe that once u see that u are likely to lose the game, u should just choose to quit and lose all u have then, instead of playing all the way, before u'd feel the sadness even more when u lose ur money for the bus ride home.
Dear readers do u get my point haha...

2004-11-08T00:05:00.000-08:00

Argh, this is pissing me off. I need to rant and rave at someone, or something.
Yes this is what my blog is for.
Just received another piece of bad news.
DARN DAMM WTH SCREW IT.
curse and swear and scold, things are not going my way. DAMN what a way to start a new day. And what a way to motivate myself for the OP in nine hours time.
Give me a break please. Go and die get lost argh.
Not feeling any better very agitated.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
The world is an ugly place if i wish i had the power to change it wish i could be god for just one day.

2004-11-07T23:50:00.000-08:00

I cant seem to do anything. Very distracted. I have no idea how i'm going to meet the pw deadline at this rate.
Of late i've been thinking much abt my theory abt women.
Among many others there are two kinds of women.
The first is what people would call pretty. The second is belong to the attractive category.
At first glance both seem the same, but there is more to it.
The former is the typical pretty face where her looks just make u succumb to her.
The latter on the other hand, is more complicated. She might not have the killer looks, yet there is something abt her that just makes u want to cast that one more glance at her even though u cant describe what it is abt her thats attracting you. Yes something just attracts you.
The second kind is rare, dunno why this reminds me of Othello all of a sudden.
ya nothing is making sense now.

Better Man

2004-11-07T22:15:00.000-08:00

Listening to "Better Man" now.
Everytime i'm sad this song conveys the very thoughts in my mind.
Evidently affairs of the heart.
Sometimes it just gets to a point where one is so helpless he can only pray for divine help.
Not in a mood to type anymore.
Morale is low.
Slogging for pw.
The world in my eyes is black and white.

2004-11-07T07:58:00.000-08:00

teenage story

2004-11-05T08:02:00.000-08:00

Haha really havent felt so happy for quite a long time. Ya we went lanning, and I had a few frags, and fragged seet n terence... argh but must use the ultimate demon witch next time. Erm then mojo and shermaine suggested going to take neoprints, haha k what a hilarious experience.
So it was like this, went to this Japanese machine, slotted in the coins, and the cameras started rolling immediately and like we didnt have enough time to pose so shermaine was blocking like everyone. Ya then went on pressing lots of buttons though we dont know what they were saying. The best thing was we mistook the erasing of unwanted photos as the selection of photos so we ended up with the argh photos. Ya ok nvm then we wasted some more money to take again. Haha quite fun to go out like this, if u consider next year is probably our last yr as official students then I guess life after that somehow wont be as fun. Ya enjoying the last yr of my teenage life.

Notting Hill

2004-11-02T08:39:00.000-08:00

Well been watching lots of movies lately. I like romantic shows, those airy fairy plots, like in dreamyland... i have no idea why i didnt catch Notting Hill when it first came out, there is this simplicity abt it that catches me. I dunno, maybe its the way the story relates to the audience? Like its not sth very distant. Ya n here is the airy fairy theme again, like what a beautiful dream and you'd hope for the very least to dream such a dream. Hmm i think i'm a sucker for such happily ever after movies, sth like when the world doesnt seem such a nice place then these movies will melt your heart and you'll feel very comforted. Ah n actually fate is such an... an enigma. Whats the probability of two people in the world meeting each other and falling in love. haha.
To end it off, the old adage says: One night of downright love, is worth a life of dully living on...

Meaninglessness

2004-10-30T06:36:00.000-07:00

"Meaningless! Meaningless!" says the Teacher.
"Everything is meaningless!"

Ecclesiastes 12:8

Give me the Heat of Living
The distraction of Life
The Chasing of goals. short term, long term
they are all short term

"the silver chord is served the golden bowl is broken"

and when "the dust returns to the ground it came from"

you realize everthing is meaningless

therefore.
"Remember your creator in the days of your youth before the days of trouble come..."
Ecclesiastes 12:1

26 cents

2004-10-27T08:01:00.000-07:00

She sat all alone on a bus out of Beaumont
the courage of just 18 years
A penny and quarter taped to a letter
And Momma's goodbye in her ears
She watched as her high school
Faded behind her
And the house with the white picket fence
Then she read the note
that her momma had wrote
Wrapped up with 26 cents
CHORUS
When you get lonely, call me any time at all
I'll be there with you, always, anywhere at all
There's nothing I got that I wouldn't give
And money is never enough
Here's a penny for your thoughts,
A quarter for the call,
And all of your momma's love
A penny and quarter
Buys a whole lot of nothing
Taped to an old wrinkled note
And when she didn't have much
She had all Momma's love
Inside that old envelope
CHORUS
bridge:
Oh, its been years since Momma's been gone
But when she holds the coins she feels her love
Just as strong
When you get lonely, call me, anytime at all
I'll be there with you always, anywhere at all
There's nothing I've got that I wouldn't give
and money is never enought
Here's a penny for your thoughts,
A quarter for the call
And all of your Momma's love
A penny for your thought
A quarter for the call
And all of your momma's love

The irony of it

2004-10-26T08:35:00.000-07:00

Really quite pathetic how you create a blog and then you have to restrict what u post on it. I want to post a list of the people i dislike and criticise them like mad. But owells, they prolly arent worth the time plus i'd get into serious trouble.
Anyway i'm feeling very off now. There was this idiot who got hooked onto a game and he played it throughout the yr, the game is a progressive sort of game meaning u have to save ur progress and continue with the quest. After his exams he spent quite a few days stoning at the com to rush through the game. Here comes the exciting part, because he refused to let his sis use the com at night, she deleted his game. Abracadebra! What a genius.
By now u'd figure that the guy in question is me right....
How pathetic

A fruitful math lecture

2004-10-25T08:07:00.000-07:00

Wow i think my math lecture attendance is less than 20 percent throughout the year... Today my excuse shall be that there is PW dry run tmr so i have to slog for it howw smart.
Ok want to talk about my experience with regional inequality.
So it was like this, dont ask me how but it just happened that i went to geylang serai and little india on the same day. If u were walking ard in Little India you'd think for a moment that u're in some developing country i'm serious. Its madness there's serious congestion there and jaywalking is a serious problem. You know in China where pple cross the road without traffic light, ya its the same scenario. The pple just walk across the road like they own it then the cars can honk all they like... Can't imagine this is happening in Singapore. Plus when the bus saw the Indians chasing after it, it refused to stop though it was only half a bus length out of the stop. Typical case of racial discrimination. The driver must have thought the Indians wouldnt know how to write to complain.

Joy to the world

2004-10-17T07:38:00.000-07:00

Today was so pathetic...
Imagine doing pw on a Sunday, and the best part is the stupid file is due tmr, plus i have a way overdue essay, prolly by like 1 mth? E-Ching is calling for the essay tmr and i can't believe that i have to mug through the night even after promos.
Feeling very pissified but nvm i'm listening to " Joy to the world ", which doesnt help much cause i need the daphne version. Hmmm during promos was so demoralised and saturated with studying, then i saw her perform and oh my i have to say like even though she didnt really sing the song that well there was like this childlike innocence she conveyed through her singing and i felt very calm and surreal after listening to her like the world is really a much happier place haha.
All the troubled people should go listen to it hahaha.
Oh ya and if i get like an A grade for my Gp i'm so gonna tell E-Ching that she is an idiot for failing over 50% of my assignment.

over the hills and far away

2004-10-15T10:01:00.000-07:00

Wow this is like land of the idealist
surreal and hopeful...
heh ok i wun spoil it so no more
sarcasm
cynicism
acerbic remarks
on this blog. but tt doesn't mean i can't go on with my bad speling

anihow dun mind if i make a link to this page from my blog

I'm in love with Desdemona...

2004-10-15T08:41:00.000-07:00

Ah i finally managed to fish out 1 hour from my so seemingly busy schedule for this blog... Like even after promos i'm so busy going out and stuff right owells. Ya ya and for the first entry i must must must pay a tribute to the girl of my dreams the "Divine Desdemona".
Haha actually "Othello" is quite pro in the sense tt using mere power of language shakespeare has set me thinking so much abt Desdemona lately. Ok ya maybe its cause i'm dumb right haha.
But anyway the essence of Desdemona - "She can sing the savageness out of a bear", hmmm sounds so... magical, so enchanting, like her innocence can touch a bear. Ok ya she's not that innocent as the story suggests at some point, ya but i wish i could see how Desdemonda looks like been thinking abt her non-stop since i started mugging my text for the first time last sunday.